Sunday, February 21, 2010

Behind the lines: Killer Unseen

I am truly sorry that I have not written in such a long time. The best way to describe it , would be unwell. For almost 5 months now there has been a silent monster living in the midst of our household. It has been attacking me slowly killing me.
I can hear you say " what does she mean Killing her?" I have been diagnosed with pseudo seizes.They are not like epileptic seizures. They do not attack the brain like those do. Pseudo's are related to long term stress ie: post traumatic syndrome, sexual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, beatings, drug abuse.
Those are just a few to name, of course those are of course the top layers of what I have been through over the years. I have been walked on by my children and other family members and currently still am. It has been explained to them all that if this doesnt all stop and disappear I will simply fade away into dust. They didnt show a hint or tinge of concern and went right back to bickering.
Joe has been a help mate, since it has begun. I am not allowed to drive he has been taking me everywhere. Ron cared enough to send me on a retreat for 6 day which meant another cruise for me. It was cold and damp. YUCK. But I did get away.
Now if only I would/ could get away again for a little while longer. I really need it. Bad

Last night was one of the worst of my seizures. In my opinion I would say it was THE worst.