Thursday, February 28, 2008

Fabric Strip Rug I Am Working On

So here is the basic idea. I am doing this with out a pattern . I was asked how I am making it and have written out a crude form. I will clean it up and post the better soon. In the mean time this is what I have so far..


I buy the material in 5 yards per color , usually when walmart has a yard for a buck. Happens this material has been sitting with me for a couple years now. So I rotary cut the entire 5 yards in together into strips. I don't measure just lay it on the floor folded over several times and just cut. My strips range from an inch thick to a little less. I put each color in a pile and ( with help ) go from color to color making a pattern.
To connect each one together I use quilt thread and a simple weave in and out 2 rows stitch them together. Once I have a large pile it is rolled into balls just like yarn. I am using a crochet hook size N and chained 22 then single chained. at the 1st end I single chained 3 in one sc for the turn and came back around the other side . as it got bigger to keep it flat I would on the corners chain 2 sc in 3 different chains then single chain the rest . You can do the increase anywhere on the rug. now that it is even bigger I am just sc all the way around with an occasional 2 sc in random places. I even slip stitched on a section and turned it around to change the pattern texture.

This Friggin Stinks!!

Cynical is the mood I am in and I will tell you why... First off I attempt to start my own web page and the company double billed me. When I called them about my site I Am told they want $720 a year more for god knows what!! I told them to give me my money back. That is how I found out they double billed me. Still waiting for that money and it has been 2 days so far. Heard nothing.. Filed a claim with the banking establishment. The company is called Startlogic, inc. Be warned!!!!!
Ok so with that in mine and all the other BS I have been dealing with my car.. a whole nother issue.. I was driving to the store and all of a sudden it decided it had no power. Mind you it is a Grand am GT, known for their power. I am still waiting for the power steering to be replaced. The part is in my trunk.. UGH.. Well anyhow my car is not running but sitting in my drive. I have NO MONEY. I can not even pay this months rent. What the hell am I suppose to do? No one else here in the House has money. I am the only one with the steady income and it's been messed up thanks to the good ole state of Indiana..
You think any ones family will help any of us? My mother has bought every appliance known to a house for me as they ALL broke and I have been paying her monthly for them. BAH this is F'in BS!!!
So by the 10th 5 of us at least will be homeless with no where to go and a house full of items with no where to put. I just want to beat the living tar out of someone. Where is that "hope" faith" and what not when you need it. I thank God everyday for the good but am overwhelmed with the bad.,
Think Positive I am told.. Would you knowing in a week after just moving into a new place that you will be homeless? The state here does nothing and tells me "sorry" I am so upset that I could just .. well I won't say.. damn it to hell.. I am outta here

Sunday, February 24, 2008

In Addition.....

A wonderful woman emailed me letting me know that my chldren should grow up fine and it will be okay. I wrote this back to her and thought I would share this with everyone as insight...

"I have 3 children that are my own. one got involved with gangs and now has a 2 yr old that my mother has temp custody of as she was in and out of jail and now just recently got married. hopefully she gets it straight.. we don't speak.. my soon to be 17 yr old smokes and drinks when she goes out and has no love of anyone but herself.. is failing school or just skimming by.. is suspended more then not. my 13 yr old is what most call a "snob" , hates school so doesn't apply herself no matter what I say. nice bunch huh..
Joe.. my sig other has a soon to be 14 yr old that is a A-B student. He is the only one that is trying and has been in wrestling this year since we moved here. I am either a failure or my kids are.. haven't figured it out.
Gayle "

Another Day in Paradise

Good day everyone...
I am up and moving around, made pancakes for 2 of the children this morning as they asked had my coffee and am now listening to my 13 year old complain about a report she had a week to write and did nothing more then jot words down. I guess it is my fault as she puts it for not doing her homework . It's worth 300 points. I predict she will be in the same grade again next year.
Didn't sleep well at all last night, keep worrying about the finances around here. Went to Social Security on Friday and argued with them over medical and my income. They told me I didn't have enough work credits. Well DUH I stayed home raising my children. They also informed me that if I wanted a life I would loose my benefits. How bad is that? I was told loose the x loose benefits, get involved with the man I am with now.. no benefits. I think this place sucks!! Indiana that is. They are the ones doing this even though SSI is federal.
So I am stuck with the dilemma, stay here or head back to PA.. mind you I have moved since feb 07...5 times.. social security said PA I would get my child support.. ( lost that here ).. my SSI and my medical again. But I have no funds to leave~ dry laugh~no wonder I am not sleeping.. I thought to tell everyone but my 2 girls to get out. who needs love? or the want to not be alone as you get older? blah
Well I guess I am in a cynical mood. I used to be a happy person, just can't remember when that was..
I do hope you all have a better day...year then I am having.
So .... I will be in and out today reading mail and muddling over what I can do with what I am not allowed to do


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Inventor of The Harley Davidson (shared )

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is that you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven."Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out With God."St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who Invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"God said, " Ah, yes.""Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion2. It chatters constantly at high speeds3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on."God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it."Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

And The Beat Goes On...

So I am back once again.. not much has changed in the days but the minutes.. I have recieved the dryer to replace the one that broke YAY! more wash for me to do~ claps hands~ NOT.
I have dealt with in the past week, a daughter who was sick. This wonderful cold/flu that has been biting at everyone.. On top of that a daughter who thinks she is out smarting her parents by eluding the truth. Of course she was found out. Now suspended from school. Oh goodie, just what I need. Her bitching about how I am so mean and it is all my fault!! Grounded for a couple weeks.. woes me... The not my son of mine who tries hard... to make me nutts?
With the way my life has been lately, loosing my medical because this wonderful state on Indiana deemed it not necessary for an SSI income to have the health care needed, I have decided to get on the ball.
I started the managing my weight thing. Every morning I am getting up and exercising. My goal is to be smaller once again then my soon to be 17 year old. With the gastric bypass surgery and the not able to eat a ton of food... well I am hoping this works. At 41 I hate to be that flabby shabby mom/woman.
Have not done much in the way of crafting, I did resort to posting on Ebay for a bit to thin out. BUY BUY BUY.. this is what I say to the computer every time I log into my ebay account.
Oh posh.. I must get back to my reality for a wihle. I shall return though.. Toodles

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Rambling or is it Bitching.. Who Knows

I'm writing this as I need to get this out of my head and chest. It is not addressed to any but all who know me. I would call it a time line ... perhaps from hell? yet in the depths there is some good. I am still working that part out.

For me life has been up and down, I know someone is saying " Me too".. well dealing with growing up where a mother and grandmother use me as a fighting tool because they spite each other was.. HARD. I didn't live in any one house but was dragged from one to the other.
3 Fathers one brother and none will speak to me.. According to my brother I am to "Fat" to be in his company. He got married and had a son that I have never seen.
Abuse,, I had them all.. if you can think of one.. I was there smack in the middle of it. But that was then .. a long time ago.
I managed to still grow up get married have children.. thus it begins again...

All my life it was fed into me that I was "fat" thus ending with gastric bypass surgery in 2004. Mind you this isnt a walk in the park. You are completely altered inside, can't eat and when you want to eat you can only nibble. By 2005 I had lost 103 pounds and was exstatic. I finally felt "Human". I did not have to hide under sweat pants and huge tee's. In that time the muscle opened and I had to have another surgery on my belly.. ouch.. My husband left me.. I was to into the world now and he didnt want me leaving the house. I actually got to step out once in a while. That was just the wrong thing to do.
I met someone else.. the husband lingered.. and I mean lingered. It was like and still is ... "I want you back, but I don't respect you anymore"
Since 2005 I have had 3 hernia surgeries and a full tummy tuck.. ( which I had to pay out of pocket for most ).. Yep I hear it.. well it would make you healthier and feel better.. Sure it did but on SSI a whopping 623 a month.. it killed me.
Ok so I am now basically into feb 2007 which is a jump but you will get the jist of what I mean by hell.
I leave Erie Pa which has been my home for over 17 years.. why? Because my husbands BS was bad. everytime he screwed up he came back to my house begging for help. For my children?? perhaps or my good heart I let him live in the basement.. a spare room.. something. Well he blew it.. a prostiture for a girlfriend. It was a mess.. I left, went to Ohio.. by April the state condemed the house I had just unpacked. A step back for a moment. When I left PA I had to get rid of almost a 1/3 of my house ( belongings ) mostly my personal stuff as I didnt want to take from anyone.
Ok so I m in Ohio , a house I thought would be great. 4 bath 7 bedroom house.. a tad to big but $600. a month rent. Who could beat that?? Everything was wrong with it when we got there. Front door wouldn't close, feces on the carpet. you name it.. it was bad. we found used condoms .. Gross.. just gross.. Ohio gave us 5 days to relocate.. on SSI income.. sheesh. By mircle someone felt sorry and rented us a gutted house. No plumping.. carpet.. anything but we needed somewhere to stay. 3 children Myself , the man I had met before.. we all moved... but then.. so did the husband. following me..
We put (I mean me ) for the most part every dime that we could to make the house livable. Even considered trying to purchase the house. HAHAHA>.. the state came.. and yep. condemed the house. Pigeons nesting in the room was the main reason. Samonilla.. 5 days people.. you need to relocate.
So July we moved here to Indiana.. why, my mother asked me to.. ( I am getting old and need my family she said ).. I had no where else to go. In Ohio I was diagnosed with cancer of the female area. I had my 3rd hernia from lifting to move. I was a mess. So up we go moving again...
I get here and I am told I was misgiagnosed and no cancer YAY! they fixed that hernia but.. found thread that should not be in my abdomen and took a small piece out. (They didn't look across the original incision to see if there was more ). So I have no feeling in my stomach area, I get UTI's constantly alot of pain. have an infection no one wants to deal with because there is malpractice lingering in the air.. Anyhow. so the medical is a mess. Jan 2008 they took it from me and left me with no care. You have beginging stages of Glacoma they say. can't see a doc for it. Infection and nerve intrapment they say. can't see anyone to fix it.. and to top if off.. ANOTHER possible hernia.. UGH

Enough on the medical ..... so I am here found a house I liked in Anderson a one horse loosing families since a large plant pushed out. I get a place cheap. The neighbor decided her kids will beat mine up. My youngest one.. Beat up her friends when they come over. Not to mention steal my mail and then have the kids sneak it over.. HA we were home and they got caught. Just meant my daughter was threatened all the time now on the bus and in school.
I decided since the school was bias and said they would do something but never did.. I moved to a new neighborhood. This one is ok so far.. been here a week ~Laughs~
Ok so on move to Indiana my washer messed up and I got it fixed.. $120.00 for a part. Please keep in mind that 623 goes not very far. thankfully one daughter gets the same. We manage. Then my drier no longer turns but gets hot.. ugh... it begins... my mothers boyfriend.. and if it was not for him.. I would have just crawled in a hole.. purchased a new drier and has me making payments.. I can do that.
Christmas.. house full of company coming.. alot of food and my fridge decides it will not get cool anymore.. Oh great! Mom's boyfriend to the rescue. He buys me one and I am paying that off too....
2 days later my microwave departs to where ever appliances go when they die. I have to get a new one at some point because no one here knew how to live without. A week later.. replaced. I am auctioning everything I own in craft to ebay to pay for all this.
Now in the new house I am in how.. for a WEEK... I trade my gas stove to the land lord for a electric.. house is full electric so why not. He gives me one that the oven I found out wont cook! He offeres to pay only partially for a replacement.. "What a crock"!! I pick out another one and help pay for it. I own it fine.. I deal with like everything else...
So this past Thursday it happened to start again... car trouble.. I could not afford insurance so my mom left me borrow a car. Mind you the following husband whom I have been seperated from but can not afford to divorce is here!! His car breaks... crap again? I am living off his income because welfare says I have to.. The other man is pending SSI due to a artificial heart valve that needs replaced soon and a insulin pump. ( no income there )
Anyhow back to what I was saying. The car.. ok sure you can use the car my mom loaned me.. Hate for you to loose your job.. Would mean that I am supporting you too... like 5 people isnt enough to support on SSI x2...
I have errands that day to I take my car.. I have a flat.. it just gets worse and worse.. My power steering breaks.. I manage to get the tire fixed since it is the begining of the month and I have a little.. Damn... a power steering pump too? $^&(*^%^%$^ and thats putting it nicely. I deal with it. Most have seen I am cleaning out my crafts again. One for space and Two... I am broke and in desperate need. I can not afford to ebay because I have nothing to pay my fee's.. Yesterday.. I do wash. nothing different .. my machine gets stuck on the rinse cycle and water just keeps filling.. for hours as I was not home.. found the problem and thought ok I can fix it.. NOT.. now I need to get a washer. You tell a house of 6 people no clean clothes or hand wash them and they all freak out.. including me.. I am the maid here!!
A whole nothing enchilada... the kids. I have living here my girls which are 13 and soon to be 17. The Sig other's son who is 13 almost 14.
My girls think I am a floor mat. The oldest could care less as she puts it.. She has some notion that she will be moving out soon and is just buying time and wasting mine. The youngest hates everything and everyone. The only time she is nice to me is before bed. She says that I should sleep with the Angels and have good things.. Where??? when?? If I have money everyone is my best friend ( meaning my kids ) As they are my children I have to love them no matter what they do or whom they grow up to be.. I just don't have to like it.
Now the 13 yr old boy thinking I am something you can crap on . And he does when he gets the chance. Should I keep this relationship or send them packing..?? His dad says it he was me.. he would send packing.. Maybe I am a fool.. He and I are soul mates, we never fight. bicker yeah but never fight.. I look at him and get lost. He says I give him butterflies everytime he looks at me. Where were you 20 years ago I ask him.. before these kids..
So to end this long winded letter of depression... mind you I am not depressed.. I am strong and stronger every day! I have gained back over 40 pounds since the bypass surgery.. 20 in the past year alone. Mostly due to the problem in my tummy area as that is where the puffyness is residing. It brings me down but I will manage.
I am generally a happy person just having a very hard time finding it in this mess we call life.. And yes I thank God every day for the little blessings I get.. but yes I also get upset that it seems to always be happening to me.
I am selling my stuff again privately as I have a washer and a dept a big one to clear up.. else I be in the street..

I hope you all understand whom I am and know I love all of you who have been my friends

Yours truely,