To The Death of It All , Cheers!

Good morning to all the early risers, as usual I was up way before the sun, cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. Another conversation with the doctor yesterday. I have had 2 more super high blood pressures both with the top number 155 or higher lower number over 100. The doctor seems to feel that my anxiety/ pseudo seizures have turned, which is possible. The body has ways of coping with high stress. It just so happens that I have been saying for months now that no one will listen till something really BAD happens to me. So my mind has rewired my anxiety/ pseudo seizures to effect my heart. Ya think that will get an Eye Opener??
Stressors: Bills and no income
outside source of income and being reminded about it
not wanting to stay here vs staying here
the living situation
my mother's reasoning for life as she knows it (her way)damn blinders
Credit means everything, people don't (BULL SHIT)
About to be a empty nester (heart breaker)
I'm 45, please don't tell me what I can or can not do (This is for my children)
lack of sleep as in under 4 hrs a night
being told your crochet isnt good enough to sell
I can go on and on, but those are the main

So why air this out here? because I don't talk to most people and here I know they will get the message. Maybe even think about it before the damn stress of it all kills me. Because it wont be my fault it will be theres for not listening a long time ago (You do know who you are because you feel guilty and if you don't feel guilty I hope you rot in hell, because your simple minded selfish jerks, to put it mildly)

Lori, if you happen to read this, the reason you can NEVER reach Ron?? Well to tell you the truth, he doesn't want to talk to you. Or so he has said. He has needed help and you always have some excuse. He has had to eat crow and ask MY family to help him, they put the money up as did Joe's for this house. My step father is funding Ron these past 5 months while Ron does what ever he has to. Not even a dime from his family, just excuses. Do you blame him? Who does he have to turn to in times of need? Certainly not you, whose going to take care of him if he has cancer? I am suppose to have a life with Joe now. 

Rick...useless and you would not be able to care for him. His family as he says is Joe and I . Are you aware that he has a bit of a medication issue, We are trying to get him help. We love you but maybe now you will understand. You have a tight ass husband who makes more then enough money who will be long dead before you can spend what you put away for retirement. Your brother, who never gets in trouble, not like the other one, never drained you, like the other one... maybe needed you and you just weren't there..