Friday, July 04, 2008

To The 4th~ Cheers~

You now, it is the 4th.. of July. Pretty much everyone is out enjoying themselves and I am here writting this. I can hear the fireworks going off down the street at the race track and have no interest in seeing them. What is wrong with me?? I must be bogged down with issues. Yep that is it. I am seriously unhappy these days. I can remember a time when little presents were a norm. Not anymore, at least not in a long time.. I miss those days. I remember when I was considered beautiful and felt that way deep inside. Not anymore. I do not even have a reason to get dressed these days. Unless it is to head out to Walmart for groceries. I guess it is just how I took the cards that were dealt to me in life and I guess I excepted them or else I would have never taken them. But I do miss being a someone . I feel like a no one in a no where place. Nothing has been fixed that is broken and still sitting in the idle position of life not knowing if I am coming or going. Worse I am taking everyone down with me. . Sucks doesn't it??
One of my children has plans to move out soon , I can see it. She is 17. I wonder if she will finish school. I hope so. But I doubt it. She is choosing a path I tried to teach her to stay away from. Does this mean I failed? Or did she fail to listen? ~ shrugs~ I am off to make someones life as miserable as mine or make theirs better by seeing how blah anothers can be...
Happy 4th Everyone!!

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