Monday, May 11, 2009

Once again it seems that while mulling over another issue in life, I have come to notice?, no not notice. I have known already that I have been depressed for a while. It just well lately has been on the surface. So much has been happening around me that I have been sucked into it. I didn't want my 18 yr old pregnant daughter to move out. Now she wants to move to another state entirely ( this makes me very sad because I know I will never see her again). I didn't ask to have our income limited due to Ron being injured at work and him having to have 2 surgeries that had him laid up till mid June. I didn't ask for Joe's son to constantly remind us how he dislikes helping out around the house knowing that his father can not support him and we are trying the best we can to do so.(He is not even kin). It is not entirely my fault that Joe and I are talking about going our seprate ways. It is not my fault that Joe is diabetic. It is not my fault that Joe has no income either. Sometimes I just feel like everything I do is nothing. I can create something from a piece of string and it matters not. I can sew a little and that matters not. My house is always clean, that matters not. If I can not fix everyone else's issues then I am a failure.

I stop here every day and see all the wonderful places from the people who come and read my blog. I am amazed by the traffic I get. I figure this blog is getting to depressing for most. I would think so. If only I had something good to report out. The sun is shining this morning. Yes that is a good thing. My cat is watching the bird teasing him by the window. It is about 9 am and it is quiet with the exception of the weather channel.
I do have something else to add. I never knew that if you wanted to have a friend that you had to have a good credit report. Or at least maybe a Swiss bank account. Maybe a Bently or something in those lines. I have only people I talk to online and one friend localy that I talk to. He doesn't require a credit report. It would have been nice to have a "girlfriend".. I guess I am hurt. No I am very hurt, all I can say is you shouldn't listen to him. Money doesn't make the person. Life does and I miss you !
I can't blog anymore right now......


ladyb1 said...

I don't find your blog depressing, but I find it sad that so much is going wrong for you at the moment, and I hope things work out better soon.

What makes you think you won't see your daughter again if she moves? Surely with a new baby around the one person she will want the most is her own mum. Hopefully she will realise how precious her family is when she has her own.

Rambling, sorry. You can always email me if you want. Susan

Stefi said...

Who in the world says you have to have a credit report to have a friend? your friend! i wish i could get there in person but there again, maybe its because i dont have a good credit report that i cant meet anyone i love so much here inside the computer!
If friends think you have to have money to be a friend...then they aint worth havin! some of my best friends over the yrs were just as broke as me and it didnt matter..we figured it out, i learned to majorly pinch pennies in my life early you make do. Life is tough, but everyone else's problems are NOT your fault and you must not think that way.
Be proud your house is clean, be proud you can make things! even if no one at home notices, YOU know you did it and every accomplishment you make proves youre ALIVE and creative!